Friday, May 19, 2006

My Parents Are In Rehab - Don't Get Me Started!

Let me begin by saying that I adore my parents. We are your typical Jewish family. My parents, my brother and I are all the same height and are up one another's asses on a daily basis. Why? Because quite frankly we really love one another, spending time together and being a part of each other's lives. That said, we're bound to drive one another crazy. One of the things that makes me absolutely insane is the fact that my Mother gets everyone's name wrong as well as a few other things. If it's not Liza Minnelli or Frank Sinatra the celebrity's name will be slaughtered. It was a couple of months ago that my parents went in for a check up - they do everything together to the point where I will be going to prison one day because when one goes (it should only be a million years from now) I WILL have to kill the other one. So after the check up we're immediately on the phone at which point my Mother drops the bomb that my parents are going to rehab - Don't Get Me Started!

After I was able to get my car back on the road (when my Mother reads this she will roll her eyes and say, "He's so overdramatic. What he makes from me no Mother should have to endure.") she explained to me that due to her weight and having never had any physical exercise that the doctor was sending her for some physical therapy to assist her with not only her back and a few other ailments but it would also be a great way for her to start a work out regimen and get in shape. I guess that it's called, "Rehabilitative Therapy" but leave it to my Mother to say she's in rehab and now that I've corrected her a thousand times, I'm convinced she still says it to make my head explode. Soon after my Father joined her and now they're both in rehab. No, it's not like having Robert Downey, Jr. and Courtney Love for your parents.

I think that my Mother actually likes the shock value of saying they're in rehab. Hell, I like saying it too - thus the title for this posting. There was a time I said to Michael, "I have this fear that I'm becoming my Mother." His response was, "Becoming?!? You ARE your mother!" The good news is that they're both doing really well and will hopefully start feeling great but now I need to go to rehab because I've become my Mother.

What is it that makes you insane when your parents do something that if anyone else in the world did you would find it funny, charming or even delighftful? I'm sure I don't know the answer to that but I'm sure you've all experienced it.

Take my blog, the other day I posted the blog before this one and sent it to my Mother. Her response, "Okay it's enough already with the gay thing, we get it, can't you write about something else?" And now that I've written about her she'll say, "I don't like attention, you shouldn't write about me." So in order to be able to leave this post on I'll end it here to be safe to not draw too much attention to her although once the papparazzi get ahold of this news you can forget about them following Britney Spears dropping her baby because the Enquirer cover will read, "My Parents Are In Rehab - Don't Get Me Started!"


Mark Leslie Woods said...

I'm laughing so hard i can't breath - oy!

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