Sure, I'll be a hostage if it gets me a book and movie of the week deal - Don't Get Me Started

Okay, I admit, it might be uncomfortable to be held hostage, be it for 4 hours or 11 years but think of the benefits, a book deal, a movie deal, sitting on the couch next to Katie and Matt - come on, sign me up and don't get me started on this issue.

I'm sure it's stressful to be held hostage or stuck in a elevator for three days but look what you come out to - all the benefits of the famous Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame cliche which comes with limos, money and lots of televison appearances.

Hey, I'm Amber, I got involved with a married man who killed his wife - quick, where's my agent, my stylist, my lawyer? Come on - for fucking a married man you get a movie of the week and a book deal. Where do I sign up?

Is the problem that I'm just not stupid enough. It's a bit like the aliens never landing at Harvard. The people who end up in these situations are, let's face it, as dumb as dumb can be. They'll spend all their money on a new Ford Taurus and buying their parents teeth. I'd at least give a token amount to charities!!

Now I understand that these people were put into situations not of their own design but how long do you think it will take before people will start designing their own crisis to riches stories?? As a relative of mine used to say about anything, "if they can put a man on the moon..."

I can just see it on the playgrounds of America, "NO, I want to be the boy in the shower and you be Michael Jackson this time. Because I think I can sign a bigger deal than you did with Random House and HBO if I agree to show my naked butt and curse!"

So, yes, I feel badly when I hear that someone was taken hostage or fondled but do I feel as-much-money-as-a-steroid-juiced-athlete-money-bad about it? NO! Earn your living like everyone else, if you want a bigger part of the pie and television appearances then you're just going to have to buy lottery tickets like everyone else. Don't get me started on the loons who win the lottery.