Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Lance Bass is gay...and? - Don't Get Me Started!

Okay, is it wrong of me to not understand how "shocked" everyone is about Lance Bass announcing he's gay or is it more wrong of me not to care what Mr. Bass does with his 15 seconds of fame, period. So, Lance Bass is gay...and? Don't Get Me Started.

The reasons you should have already know Lance Bass was gay are overwhelming but a few are...first - just look at him, second - he's a big Kathy Griffin friend (guess he can "officially" be counted as another one of her "gays" now) and finally - he was all fired up about paying the Russian boys to take him to space - if I had the money, I'd send him.

Not only is there no reason to care about him being gay, it's almost comical the way he worded his big "coming out" in People magazine. He states he is in a "stable relationship" - what the hell is that supposed to mean? STABLE??? What, is he dating Mr. Ed? I mean come on, I've been with the same person for 18 years this August and I've never called it a "stable relationship". Oh it's a wonderful, loving relationship but what is that word, stable, all about? I mean, are we in the ICU? Can relationships also be in serious but stable condition? And don't even get me on my soap box about not being able to get into a hospital room of my guy because the wackos representing Jesus don't like the idea. What makes the use of the words stable relationship even more yummy is that he's dating some guy from a reality show. Don't you just love that? Need some publicity old boy banders? Well, come out but don't just come out, find a hot gay guy from a reality show and you just extended your fame for another several seconds!

The bottom line here - sorry Lance, is that it's what I like to call a "Jimmy Cracked Corn" issue - "And I don't care!!" I care that things are crazy in the Middle East, that people are dying fighting a war that will not really make things better for anyone, and I especially care that everyone is running scared because gay people want rights. Hunger, homelessness, US health care and AIDS far outweigh the Lance Bass news.

Supposedly the "bloggers" outed Lance Bass, the people they should be outing (that we should all be "outing") are the parents of kids who when they discover their kids are gay at 14, throw them into the streets. These are the kids that are going to need some help recovering from coming out and being thrown out. All this means for Lance is that the gay boy at Starbucks will only charge him for a grande and give him a venti. I'm not blaming Lance in the least because he didn't start this firestorm but honestly, think for a minute about all the horror stories of coming out and I think even Lance would agree that his was pretty stable. I'm one of the fortunate ones who never had trauma or doubt that my family and friends loved me when I came out but I know enough people who did and I wonder what it would mean to them to see People or the bloggers cover that story?

So good for Lance but until he cures cancer will I be saying, "One small step for gays, one giant step for mankind." As my grandmother used to say, "There's a lid for every pot." And I hope that Lance has found his in his stable relationship. As for the project he announced in his coming out article about him and Joey Fatone hoping to do an "Odd Couple-like" sitcom, if I were him I would try to get more mileage out of the gay angle and try to swing a deal with MTV to let him and his reality hunk be the first wacked gay couple to get their own series like Nick and Jessica and the rest of them. And to those of you who were shocked by this news...Lance Bass is gay...and? Don't Get Me Started!

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